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Blog of Jonah (aka spambot) of RandomPirateComics.com

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

A Bunch of Quick Movie Reviews

I’ve been meaning to write up some reviews on some of the movies I’ve seen over the past couple of months, and (haven’t had the time / keep forgetting / have been too lazy) to do them (pick one).

So, without further ado:


Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

This isn’t a re-make like some people have thought. This goes back to the source material and stays much more true to it than the so-called classic “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”, which by the way is genuinely creepy as hell in some parts.

This new movie is quirky and surprisingly funny. It is, of course, the story of a boy who finds a Golden Ticket in a candy bar and goes on a tour of a chocolate factory (they make more than chocolate, but marketing said “candy factory” did worse with test groups). Charlie, the hero, is the only kid in the group of winners that isn’t a total spoiled brat, so ends up winning. It’s a fun story and unlike most modern movies, doesn’t reward kids for being smart-ass stuck up brats all the time.

Oompa Loompas still give me nightmares, though.



A Sound of Thunder

Sort-of based on the classic Ray Bradbury short story of the same name. I’m one of the ten’s of people who have not only heard of this movie’s existence, but actually saw it… voluntarily.

Have I lost my mind? Maybe. But sometimes you know a movie is going to be so incredibly bad, you can’t help but see just how incredibly horrible it really is.

The basic story is about a company that uses time-travel for profit. Greed = the destruction of the world as we know it because some idiot steps on a butterfly back in 60-kajillion BC. While waves of the present being changed hit the world, the heroes run around for some reason, trying to figure out what happened and how to fix it. Everyone seems well aware that changes are happening, and humans are the only thing that seems to not be affected by the change (at least not until the very end). Most of the movie is spent running from huge baboon-lizards, who’s numbers suggest that there must be millions upon millions of some other creature that we never see which are their food source.

I would only recommend seeing this movie to people who enjoy really campy sci-fi movies, since the only redeeming feature of the movie is its ability to have fun poked at it.


Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

See it. If you are the kind of person who enjoys things that are cool, then you need to see this.

We’re talking mind blowing visuals. We’re talking fight scenes that make The Matrix look laughable, and I’m not just talking the sequels, which manage to do that on their own.

There is a plot in there as well, but like most action movies, that isn’t really why anyone is watching. You don’t need to have played FF VII to follow it, though it helps. You’ll see familiar characters and locations that will make any fanboy weak in the knees.


Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride

Visually very cool, but the plot is very predictable.

Oh, and it’s a musical. Didn’t know that going in.


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